A conflict may strengthen or weaken a relationship all based on our conversation style. When handled well a conflict may help us understand the other person better and create deeper bonds. When handled poorly, it may result in deterioration to ultimate death of the relationship. While examples here primarily relate to marital conflicts as the psychologist who researched it specialized on the same , the learning may be extended across a team, parent-child, siblings, boss – subordinate etc. Whoever starts the conflict, you have the power to redirect it for the better, do not give it up.

Four Horsemen

Dr. Gottman, a renowned Psychologist categorizes the argumentative communication into four styles, nick named ‘Four Horsemen‘, a biblical reference to end of the world : Criticism, Contempt, defensiveness and Stonewalling.

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